The guilt of innocence

This is a true story. Well, most of it.

Meet Mr. Njoroge. It's early evening and he is seated on a bar stool at Carnivore bar sipping on his 25 year old single malt whiskey. Njoroge is a happy man. He just won a government tender and can't decide between a new Rover or a new H2. He calls the waiter who with years of experience in noticing windfalls, rushes over. Njoroge orders another shot, heck, he might as well order the whole bottle, he thinks. He does. Mr. waiter smiles in anticipation.

Meanwhile, back home, Njoroge's teenage sons, Mike and Mark, are gearing up for a great night. They are supposed to hook up the ride for everyone to the club. All they have to do is wait for Mzee to get back, wait till he is asleep and quietly push the car past the gate and off they go. They had done this so many times before. They were pros.

Back at the Carnivore, Njoroge has had more than enough. He pays his bill and staggers to the car park. He's more than tipsy so he drives home slowly.

Mike and Mark are now getting jittery. It's ten o'clock and Mzee hasn't arrived yet. They need the car. Mike's girlfriend is calling wondering when he will arrive with the ride. Then they hear the old iron gate crack open. Mzee is here. Now, they just have to wait for him to sleep and take the car and bring it back before he wakes up. Plan on track.

Njoroge gets home. Today, he is more tipsy than ever. Last time he was this drunk, he caused a spectacle. Njoroge decides to sleep it off for an hour in the back seat of the car before he enters the house.

Its operation time for Mark and Mike. The car is here and the quiet means Mzee is already asleep in the house. They tip toe through the back door, careful not to wake up anyone and gently push the car out of the compound, use the spare key to start the car and head straight to the party venue at Carnivore. They are late, everyone is already there. They have no idea Mzee is asleep in the back seat. They have to head straight there. They get to Carnivore in record time, park and bounce in.

Njoroge wakes up in a startle. He takes a moment to recollect where he is. He remembers making the decision to take a nap in the back seat but can't understand how he is still at Carnivore. That bottle of whiskey must be playing games on him, he concluded. Lying to him that he went home. He moves to the front seat, starts the car and drives home.

Mike and Mark have the night of their lives. It's now 4AM and they have to leave and get the car back before Mzee wakes up. They get to the car park. The car is not there. They raise the alarm. Call their friends. They all look for the car. It's not there.

Pandemonium.

They run out of options. They both decide to go home and come clean. They might get the beating of their lives, but at least Mzee can now take over and contact the police. It's now 5:30AM. They reluctantly head home.

They get home, shaken and sweaty. They open the crackling iron gate. They see the car. Perfectly parked.

They don't know if to feel relieved that the car was not stolen or to feel terrified because it's now evident that Mzee knows what they were up to last night. They can't sleep a wink. They just sit at the dining table like inmates awaiting an execution. Waiting for Mzee to wake up. Kama mbaya, mbaya. They put on brave faces.

Njoroge wakes up with a hangover and gets his sons, faces grim as ash, seated at the dining table. He greets them and proceeds to have breakfast wondering why the boys are so quiet.

Mike and Mark don't get it. Mzee just said good morning...! He did not look angry. What game is Mzee playing on them? Why can't he just blow up and get on with it. Mom also shows no signs of anger. Damn, they think, wametupangia. Tonight, it's kosovo.

But its not. Mzee cames back in such a happy mood that he even gives them the 5k he had promised a month ago for a new game. They decline to take it. They think it's a trap.

Mom thinks the boys are sick.

After a couple of days, the boys cant take it anymore.

They confess to Mzee.

Mzee laughs. And laughs some more.

Enjoy your day.